The lengths I will go to be pointless.
On a recent post, (Issue #281: Be My Valentine. . . OR ELSE!) it was pointed out by a gentle reader that I misspelled the word “restraining”. Had I? Yuppers! It was a fact. Did I do the simple thing and fix it? Nope. Instead of taking a few seconds to correct the panel and reload it, I took much longer to write a response that went like this:
Dang it! I was typing with my nose at the time. The problem is that I recently burned both of my hands in a smelting accident (the molten metal, not the fish). Ironically I was smelting around wild smelt when one smelt smelt my smelting and leaped straight into my smeller which left a welt and caused me to spill my melt onto my mitts. I felt the smelt on my pelt so I dealt with it by quelling the melt of my mitts in the water where the smelt dwelt. So due to my smelt smelt smelting smashup where I knelt and quelled my hellish melted mitts where the smelly smelt dwelt, I’ve had to spell with my welted smelt smelling smeller leading to my spurious spelling. Did I mention I was smelting with Celts?
I’m continually amazed at the circuitous routes I’ll take to get from point “A” to point “where the @#$%!” It’s like some sort twisted meth fed Family Circus panel. Rather than take a logical, sensible path to complete a task, I will sometimes go to extraordinary lengths to build some Rube Goldbergian device or mental construct to avoid doing what needs to get done. That last sentence should be sufficient evidence. I could have said “it’s never simple with me”.
I wasn’t trying to be a smart-ass neither. I was trying to respond to a straightforward comment in a funny way. I think that part worked. However neither I nor my therapist can tell you WHY I took such a complex and loquacious meander. And for the record, it’s amazing that ALL my panels aren’t this wordy. It takes my complete abbey-normal gray matter to whittle things down to 2 or 3 lines. I am rarely concise.
To surmise, my response to the simple comment “You spelled “restraining” incorrectly” was NOT a short “thanks”. Instead it began with the small thought of “accidental” and blossomed into this involved, goofy comment and blog post that lie before you. Words fail me. Or not.
What was my point again?
February 17th, 2009 at 1:04 am
JJ – if you took a shortcut through the circuitous route, then the Saturday Bulletin would be a bunch of comics captioned with haiku:
Man with a black eye
Hat lady holding a card
There’s a joke in there
February 17th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Ech! If I could make them as funny as your haiku, the entire site would benefit! That was freggin funny.